


hold me forever (even after death)

by witchfynde



Category: Bandom, Metallica
Genre: 80s portrayals, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drinking, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Platonic Cuddling, basically all the no no things these fuckers did >:(, but what else is new, cliff/james if u squint hard enough, i think, i would go all the way but im shy, james cant handle weed bc hes a little bitch, kirk is a shy nerd we love him, lars is a whore, listen i projected rlly hard one night and wrote this, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26980636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchfynde/pseuds/witchfynde
Summary: Kirk is... clumsy. Everyone knows that. Still, he managed to stumble across something truly shocking.--also known as the one where kirk gets piss drunk and finds james and cliff spooning at 12 in the ams
Comments: 9
Kudos: 19





	hold me forever (even after death)

**Author's Note:**

> i have W R I T T E N and P U B L I S H E D,,, i got so yearny for my bf last night and finally edited this little draft thats just been sitting in my drive for weeks,, rip 💔 anyway, i hope you enjoy this short and fluffy little work! 80s portrayals of everyone here and, as usual, i dont claim to own anything or anyone depicted; this is all purely for entertainment. i would like to thank my lovely boyfriend atlas (@metalliclown on twitter) for beta reading this and helping me edit, and my fantastic friend bucket (@colma) for helping me with the title!

So, Kirk might be in trouble.

It’s not that he did anything _wrong_ , per se, but he did... intrude on something rather personal last night.

It was another quiet evening at the Metallimansion, everything going as usual. Lars drank and ranted on and on about some punk who tried to “pick a fight with him”— no doubt it was Lars himself who started it— until he got bored and went to sleep. James snagged a few beers and retreated to his room to fiddle with his guitar. Cliff rolled himself a blunt and took a few hits before he retreated to _his_ room to fiddle with his bass. And Kirk, being the nerd of the bunch, decided to spend the night knocking back a few beers while he marathoned whatever horror movies they had in stock.

All was well, nothing was out of the ordinary at all. Just a normal, uneventful night at the Metallimansion where every man did his own thing.

That is, until Kirk got up to go to the bathroom.

Turns out that seven beers on an empty stomach aren’t that good on the bladder and Kirk needed to go _bad_. So, he pressed pause on The Exorcist, stood on his shaky feet, and stumbled his way into the hall in search of the one room he needed most.

After he managed to get the door open, spent a shamefully long time zipping his pants back up and washed his hands, Kirk stumbled his way back into the hall and started his return to the couch. But then he noticed something strange. Kirk stopped right in front of James’ room and pressed an ear against the door. _Weird_ … it was quiet in there.

He took a quick glance at the clock at the end of the hall and raised a brow. It’s not uncommon for James to turn in early after a night of heavy drinking, but it was _only_ 12:40 AM.

James is always asleep by 2:00 AM at the _earliest_. And if James were awake, he’d be making enough noise to keep everyone else up with him. This… this was odd.

Kirk quietly knocked on the door when it opened up a crack. He poked his head in, half expecting to get a shoe thrown at him by the angry blonde, but it was empty. The lights were on, the place disheveled and in squalor like usual, but James was nowhere to be found. Kirk tiptoed in and gave the place a quick once-over. Nothing looked tampered with— hell, the window was still closed. By the looks of it, James didn’t even sneak out.

Okay, good. Kirk could put his mind at ease knowing James was still in the house. The only question he had left was _where_.

It was tempting to check Lars’ room. James has snuck in there before when he was in need of extra beer, and since Lars went to sleep early, it wasn’t a hard task. But then again, James _did_ take a sixer with him, and it was still too early for him to have finished it no matter how heavy of a drinker he was. Plus, Lars is the lightest sleeper he’s ever had the displeasure of knowing; fuck, even a leaf rustling outside could jolt him awake. He wasn’t exactly in the mood to get a late night berating from someone so bitchy when provoked.

Kirk decided to skip over his fiery drummer’s room and went to his own door. It was quiet, just as he expected, but he wanted to make sure anyways. The lock clicked softly open and the room inside was pitch black. Kirk palmed the wall for the switch and flicked the light on. His room wasn’t anywhere near neat, but compared to the filth his bandmates insisted on living in, it was the cleanest place in the house. He made little mental notes of the place while he checked it for clues.

The little growing army of dishes and empty beer bottles he had on his dresser didn’t appear disturbed. Nor did the trail of clothes on the floor that he never bothered to put to wash. Even the rickety rack of cassettes by his door looked untouched, the faulty corner that always falls crooked still balanced. If James came in here for god-knows-what, then he would’ve made it an even bigger mess. Drunk James was always a lumbering slob. He definitely would’ve knocked something over while trying to make room for every inch of his 6'1" self.

Kirk toed some of his discarded shirts into a pile, flicked the light off, and closed the door. So James wasn’t in his own room, and he wasn’t in Lars’, and he certainly wasn’t in Kirk’s. And if he didn’t sneak out tonight, then that left only one room for inspection.

He made his way to Cliff’s door, pressing his ear against it and listening closely for any sign of life. Faintly, he could hear the sound of one of Cliff’s Misfits cassettes, so he knew that at least Cliff was still up. Kirk tapped his knuckles against the wood, hoping not to disturb his friend in case he was writing some new material. He stood by and waited for a minute…

Then two, and another two after that… whatever Cliff was doing in there, he was focusing suspiciously hard on it. Hard enough not to answer the door.

Kirk let another minute pass before he decided to take matters into his own hands. He knocked one more time, a little louder than before so Cliff knew he was coming in, and opened the door.

Kirk’s mouth fell open at the sight before him.

It was dark, save for the dim glow of Cliff’s bedside lamp, but he could clearly see his friend lying down on his bed, holding someone else in his arms. That someone being James— a fast asleep James, too. Even with a rowdy Misfits cassette playing on the stereo, Kirk could hear the blonde’s soft snores and content little hums as Cliff buried his face into his neck and wound an arm around his torso.

It was all surprisingly tender. Kirk could care less that two of his best friends were spooning. Everyone did that at some point, it wasn’t anything special. But the fact that _James fucking Hetfield_ of all people was asleep in someone else’s arms had him dumbfounded. James never came off as the cuddling type, and _especially_ not as the kind of guy to receive a good cuddling from anyone else. If he was holding anyone in his sleep then he wouldn’t be holding them for long. No, he’d be shooing them out of both his bed _and_ the house the minute the sun came up. This was a nice change of scenery, even if it was the result of what smelled like a hit too many.

He kept watching, noticing how Cliff’s arm tightened, how his hand travelled up James’ body and tenderly caressed his chest. James never moved, only making a soft, kitten-like mewling noise as he got more comfortable. A soft, muffled sigh came out of Cliff. The two pressed closer together; close enough that they _almost_ looked like more than just bandmates.

Kirk cooed and slipped them a little smile. Cliff and James looked so sweet together, and they deserved to share this moment without interruption. He was about to close the door when he figured that he might turn off the lamp. A few extra pennies saved from the electric bill and he’d leave them to sleep in peace.

But when he made his first step towards the tiny table, a terrible metallic _crunch_ rang out. Kirk looked down with a grimace and saw that he had stepped on one of the many empty Coors cans decorating the floor.

James stirred and whimpered; Cliff took a deep breath before sitting up. Kirk heard a quiet “shh” from Cliff, and the blonde simmered down and went back to sleep. And then Cliff turned to look at Kirk in the eyes. It wasn’t for long— Cliff reached around to turn off his lamp and went back to sleep without a word— but the seconds that they spent looking at each other left Kirk with a chill in his spine.

He quickly kicked the litter away, grabbed the knob, closed the door and left the pair in peace. Questions buzzed through his head, all of them curious and worried.

_How did Cliff get James to sleep so early?_

_How did Cliff even get James to spoon with him?_

_Shit, Cliff isn’t going to be mad at him for intruding, is he?_

_… Is it weird that he thought they were cute together?_

Kirk shook his head and went back to the living room, flopping on the couch and resuming his movie. It was more white noise, and in no time at all the sleepiness set in and he nodded off.

And now here he is. Awake on the couch he fell asleep on, turning off the TV, and picking up the cans he left on the floor last night. All the while trying not to make eye contact with Cliff, who is sitting on the opposite end, enjoying a magazine and a cup of coffee without a care in the world.

His lanky friend sets his drink down on the tiny coffee table and crosses his legs. He doesn’t look up from his read, so Kirk feels safe enough to get up and throw the cans out in the kitchen.

Kirk tries to be extra careful not to make any noise _this time_ since James and Lar are still sleeping— _is James still in Cliff’s room?_ — and pours himself a cup of coffee while he's there. He settles back on the couch and takes a long sip, nearly choking on it when he hears Cliff clear his throat.

“Uh… Kirk?” comes the quiet question. “Can I ask you for a favor?”

“S-Sure man, what’s up?”

Cliff sets his magazine down and scoots over to Kirk. “Listen… about last night-”

“What happened last night?” Kirk asks, and he mentally kicks himself for trying to play so dumb.

“Kirk, c’mon man,” Cliff says, “I know you saw James and I spooning in my room.”

Kirk doesn't say a word. A little hint of guilt bubbles into his stomach and he stammers trying to find the right thing to say.

Thankfully, Cliff puts a hand on his shoulder and shushes him before he can make an ass out of himself.

“You don’t have to apologize or say anything… just—” he sighs and looks into the hall to make sure they're alone, and whispers— “can you promise me you won’t tell James about it? He doesn’t know that I spooned him after he fell asleep.”

“No! I mean- _fuck_ , yes, I promise I won’t tell James.”

Kirk crosses his heart to top it all off and Cliff chuffs a laugh, whispering a quick “thank you” and slinking back to his side of the couch. Kirk takes another sip of his cup, but he sets it down when something crosses his mind.

“Cliff?”

He hums, “Yeah?”

“How did you get James to go to sleep so early?”

“Oh!” Cliff leans in, trying to hide his laughter behind a smile, “Turns out James is the sleepy type of stoner. Took three hits and he was out like a light.”

Kirk snorts and nods, a little giggle slipping loose.

“Alright Cliff, I’ll keep this between us. Sorry for waking you up.”

“Not a problem at all, man.”

They share one last smile before Cliff goes back to his magazine and Kirk turns on the TV to catch the Saturday morning cartoons.

So, turns out Kirk isn’t in trouble after all.

He breathes a sigh of relief, sits back, relaxes, and gets ready to enjoy as much of the Scooby Doo reruns as he can before James and Lars wake up the block.


End file.
